Birth stories

Start at the beginning…which beginning???

There is a wild west coast beach in New Zealand, much loved by surfers, where waves pound the black sand dunes.  Life-savers patrol the area because with the bliss and adventure comes danger.

Twenty-six years ago I gave birth to my only son in a community hospital, with a nurse midwife and his father at my side. I had the unusual and wonderful experience of being compassionately and expertly attended by midwives who worked in a local, slightly non-traditional obstetric practice.

Labor has no clock and it is impossible to know when you are going to have a baby. Liz had called me earlier in the evening to ask if she should go out dancing or if I was going to have a baby (since I had proclaimed it was coming Wednesday night). I thought by morning, but who knows. And later I had no idea when to call my midwife, Karen. I called when labor began and she asked me to call her again when contractions were under 8 minutes apart. I had no idea if that would be in ten minutes, an hour or maybe even longer.

When I first conceived there were 2 things I was sure of; I knew I was carrying a girl, and I knew that I didn’t want to go anywhere near a hospital to birth her. This was going to be my third birth journey. The other 2 had been drug free, relatively intervention free, hospital births. This time things were different. I had complete confidence in my body’s ability to birth my baby and I knew that the best environment for me to birth would be on my own. I knew that when birthing I entered a zone and that this time I wanted to create an environment that supported this mind frame.

What are the sounds of a home birth? In July I birthed my daughter right here in my study. Normally this room has the tapping of keys on my computer, the fortunately silent but reproachful stare of the clean washing piling up and the murmuring of cats nesting in it.

While my birth wasn't necessarily orgasmic, in the usual sense anyway, it was definitely one of the most intensely sexual and sensual experiences of my life. It was the most empowering, amazing thing I've ever done!

I do not want to hear that I had an easy birth anymore. It was not easy, but it was amazing. I had prepared for it. That is the only secret. I am not more pain resistant than other people; I cried like a baby when I got my ears pierced!

When I became pregnant I knew that I wanted a natural birth. I felt like I owed it to my baby to make his entry into this world as safe and comfortable as possible for him, which meant NO DRUGS! I knew I could gain so much from this experience.

Thirty years ago, four years after the obstetric disaster that was my first birthing, I gave birth to my daughter with the most amazing orgasm. This was totally unexpected. The labour had begun slowly and was gentle and sensual. This really surprised me. I was expecting pain from the beginning. This first stage took me into beautiful dream-like spaces and energy rushed through my body. I was open and happy to be at home with people whom I knew shared my vision for a natural birth. These were the days of Leboyer births, and I wanted a gentle and respectful beginning for my child.

Unfortunately, we had to have a hospital birth. I'd want nothing more than to go back and have a midwife and a doula. However, I had a lot of complications in my pregnancy including a threatened miscarriage, hyperemesis, and preeclampsia, the latter being the most difficult.

My beautiful son was born June 14th, 2007. We went to the doctor that day knowing I might quite possibly be induced since my blood pressure kept getting higher and higher. My obstetrician decided that at 37 weeks, it was time to deliver for the sake of the baby’s health and mine.