Give my body the control

I do not want to hear that I had an easy birth anymore. It was not easy, but it was amazing. I had prepared for it. That is the only secret. I am not more pain resistant than other people; I cried like a baby when I got my ears pierced!

When I became pregnant I knew that I wanted a natural birth. I felt like I owed it to my baby to make his entry into this world as safe and comfortable as possible for him, which meant NO DRUGS! I knew I could gain so much from this experience.

On September 21, 2007, at 7 o'clock in the morning I woke up with pressure waves. They were pretty strong and they stayed this way all day long. They came 20 minutes apart for a few hours and later 10 minutes apart. I called my midwife to tell her that I thought labor had started. She said I still had time. I called my husband, who was in the field with the Army, but they would not let him go yet. “You are not in the hospital yet so it cannot be that bad.” I guess they never heard of homebirth. Well, the pressure waves were really intense, but I was so excited so I would not call them painful. They were strong and there was pressure. When they came I would go down on my hands and knees and shake my butt. This helped! Around 10 in the evening I decided to fill the birth pool. I kept on calling my husband who was still waiting for an okay to come home. Every few minutes I would go down on hands and knees and shake, shake, shake. It is amazing how much that helped. My body took over and I felt that my body knew everything; I just needed to give my body the control. One time my head took over and ouch, it hurt! So I decided to keep the head out of it and everything went great from that point.

When my pressure waves came 3 minutes apart I called my midwife. Our midwife arrived at 10.30pm. I was at 7 cm and happy in the pool. The water felt great and took some of the pressure off. I felt connected to my baby and I felt him moving through me. It was like a dance. There was only candlelight in the room and I had burned some herbs. I was listening to Rilke and Hesse poems. I have never felt stronger or more beautiful in my life.

When the pressure got stronger my little hula-dance got wilder as well. I knew my baby was almost here. I also talked to my husband on the phone. I acted like a radio journalist, “Everything is fine. I am feeling good. Don't worry. Wait, I can't talk...” My breathing changed, my body just did it. I felt the head between my legs, my lower body went numb and I felt so ecstatic. Everything felt right, beautiful and like pure joy. At 1:15 in the morning my son swam out, found his way to my chest and looked at me with big blue eyes. I was so happy, so excited, so thrilled. We had done it!

I think birth is much harder for the baby than for the mom. We talk about the mom, how hard it is for her, how to make it more comfortable for her, but the baby is taking the biggest step. I was so proud of my beautiful babyman! I was simply enjoying the love.

Saskia, Oak Grove, Kentucky