Passionate about natural birth

While my birth wasn't necessarily orgasmic, in the usual sense anyway, it was definitely one of the most intensely sexual and sensual experiences of my life. It was the most empowering, amazing thing I've ever done!

I was so passionate about having a natural birth and was certain that I wanted both my husband and son present for the experience. I'd done a ton of educating my son around conception, the baby's development, what birth might be like, the sounds I might make, etc., and I'd also enhanced my own education through reading, doing prenatal yoga, talking with other women, and watching some great documentaries including The Business of Being Born. I have my MA in Somatic Psychology. A tremendous amount of my studies involve pre- and perinatal development. It greatly considers the process of birth to be the foundation from which we build our lives, on all levels.

I am a strong believer in giving our babies entry into this world in a way that honors both our strength as mothers and theirs as human beings. Providing a foundation of drug-free attachment in the very beginning lays down the neural networks that are related to trust, to LOVE, to feeling safe; and I so wanted this for my baby girl, Lilly (whom my son, 4.5 years old, named).

At about 9:00pm the day after my due date, I sat on the toilet (for the 100th time that day!) and noticed some bloody show in my underwear and went to tell my husband and son we were going to have a baby soon! My Braxton-Hicks contractions had been going strong that day though not much more than the previous couple of weeks so I tried to gently prepare myself emotionally for what was coming. Considering the lack of contractions, or “rushes,” thus far, I guessed it would be a long night. I called my midwife, Tracy Ryan, CNM of Mountain Midwifery in Denver, CO (the only free standing birth center in Colorado) and went to take a bath. I was expecting labor to be at least 12 hours, as my son’s labor had been 22 hours of very hard labor.

My husband came in around 9:30pm and timed what had become obvious rushes, and found they were five minutes apart, lasting for one minute. I was doing some relaxing yoga positions, on all fours in the tub and keeping my mind calm by visualizing flowers opening, my cervix opening and the baby moving gently down the birth canal. He called our nanny, Liz, and asked her to come and spend the night so she could come with us to the birth center and attend to our son, Nathaniel.

Liz arrived about 10:00pm and got settled for the night. I lay in our bed and listened to a Hypnobirthing CD. For the next hour, I went back and forth from the bath to the bed, and with every rush, my husband would hold me, rub my back or hips, and speak softly to me, telling me that he loved me, that I was beautiful, that my body knew just what to do, to trust my body, that he was with me. It was incredibly helpful to hear his calming words. Each time he would speak to me so lovingly, my entire body would just melt into a relaxed state.

My rushes were 4 minutes apart, one minute long for an hour, by 11:00pm. Shawn, my husband, called our midwife and she said to bring me down right away.

Liz woke Nathaniel up slowly and gently and as he rubbed his eyes, she asked him if he knew why she was here. After a few groggy moments, he sat straight up and very alertly said, "My baby sister's coming!" Then he got up, got dressed, and grabbed his already packed birth bags and was ready to go.

For the previous hour, I'd been making some very primal noises, groaning loudly. My noises got more intense as we drove to the birth center. When we arrived Tracy checked my cervix and told me I was already dilated to 7 centimeters. She said, "Angie, you're already doing this and it's not going to get any harder." This was very helpful to hear.

After a couple of rushes I wanted to get in the tub; the rushes were coming every 1-2 minutes. I kept visualizing my pelvis opening into love, with love, with trust. I was talking to my baby in my mind, softly comforting her and asking her to move down, to work with me.

After a few rushes, I asked Shawn if he was filming this, because I absolutely wanted to have her birth on film. He set up the tri-pod, so we can share this with her someday. (I also love sharing it with friends and family!)

Tracy told me, as my groans were getting a little out of control, that I could yell her out, but that I was stronger than that, and I needed to focus my energy down and use my strength as if I was doing a bench press (she was using language that worked for me!) She told me that this part was all me and that I would know when I needed to push. I kept thinking, yes, I was doing it, but how much longer was it going to last and how could I help it progress?

I knew that the things that would increase oxytocin were kissing my husband, or nipple or clitoral stimulation. So I did what was the easiest for me, and reached down between my legs and felt the engorged tissue around my vagina and clitoris. I began to massage my clitoris as my next rush came on and literally felt my cervix open so easily and fully, and felt my baby’s head drop down. It was the most intense sensation I've ever experienced and while it was somewhat frightening, I knew it was opening me to a new place of being, it was truly transformational within mere seconds.

I immediately felt the need to push. (Anyone who thinks a woman birthing needs to be told when to push is completely clueless!) Tracy reminded me to bring my energy down and with one focused, gentle push, my baby girl rushed into the water and I immediately gathered her up in my arms and brought her to my chest. The sensation of moving her gently out of the water was the most satisfying and fulfilling sensation I’d ever experienced, and brought a deep sense of calm and primal strength to my entire body-mind, not altogether unlike an orgasm but oh, so much more pleasurable! I knew in that moment that I had the strength to do anything that this world called me to do.

My feelings of ecstasy and love were like nothing I'd ever experienced. I held my baby girl and told her how much I loved her and that we had done it together, that this was the beginning of the strength that would forever bind us as women.

Lilly Sophia was born at 12:58am; just three and a half hours after labor began.

We remained peacefully in the water for five or ten minutes and slowly got into the bed. The nurse helped my little angel shift her position so she was closer to my breast and she immediately latched on and nursed for the next three hours, like a champ!

I feel incredibly blessed to have had this experience and my hope is that I can help others bring birth back to women and babies. The natural, instinctual power that women lovingly give to their babies during birth, I believe, is the foundation for love.

Angie Phillips, Morrison, Colorado