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Birth by the Numbers

Video: Birth by the Numbers

Expert Voices

“Young women need to see this film, which shows what is possible. Medical and nursing students need to see it, as do family practice and ob/gyn residents, whose training is almost only about surgery and pathology. No wonder we are in trouble!”
Michael C. Klein, MD, CCFP, FAAP (Neonatal-Perinatal), ABFP, Emeritus Professor of Family Practice and Pediatrics, University of British Columbia and BC Children’s & Women’s Health Centre

Lost Between Hospital & Homebirth Responses

Submitted by Rachel on December 13, 2012 - 12:04pm

Rebecca from PA and obirth's Debra Pascali-Bonaro had a chance to chat at the Safe Motherhood Rally, Harrisburg, PA last spring.

Rebecca shared with Debra that when she and her husband were first considering homebirth, they watched the Orgasmic Birth movie as part of their research. “Although it embarrasses me to admit this, we had to stop watching the movie the first time we viewed.  It was early in our pregnancy and we were just beginning to challenge our notions of how birth is portrayed in our culture, and what the reality can be. I felt like I was back in fifth grade having my first sex education lesson. I giggled about as much. So did my husband. Even with our unease with the film, it was influential in our choosing to try homebirth. I returned to the video shortly before I was due, however this time I didn't giggle. By reading more about the potential of birth, I learned that it was a powerful experience, and your video helped diminish my anxiety.
 
“I was hoping for a homebirth and ended up with a hospital birth, Pitocin, epidural, and ultimately a c-section. I started labor 18 days post due date and had the homebirth midwife come to tell me I was going to have to deliver in the hospital. I tried really hard to keep grounded during the disappointment, after disappointment. I was finally settled into the hospital room, hooked up to pitocin, on full-time fetal monitoring, surrounded by my birth team that was supposed to be home with me, and I was calm, and able to ride the waves of the contractions. Of course it didn't stay that grounded, but I still have that moment, when I heard my husband and the women around me say, "She's doing really well with this."  I try to hold on to that moment, "and realize that the birth was complicated, but it didn't define me negatively, or etch my child in a detrimental way.
 

"It is a long process to recover from what happened during the birth, and at this point, I am not comfortable with either delivery option. The main reason is if you cannot have a homebirth as planned, and end up in the hospital, the treatment is too terrible from the medical community. And at times, the self-righteousness and defensiveness from the homebirth community, "If you had been at home, you could have had her vaginally" is a bit too much to handle. I felt like I got it from both sides that I was in the wrong. Wrong for trying to homebirth, and wrong for agreeing to be bullied into a c-section. The truth is, that I have felt lost in the middle of it all, and wishing desperately there was a common ground or atleast mutual respect. I expected the hostility from the hospital, but I was a bit surprised by the reaction from the homebirth side."

Rebecca writes, “I did not get birth I had hoped for, but as best as I could, I labored and pushed naturally. I feel like I was able to connect to the power of the birth, even if for a short time.” And indeed, as obirth's Debra expressed to Rebecca, “There is triumph and wisdom for coming through this, and that (Rebecca) can support others for having been through it.”

Have you shared an experience similar to Rebecca’s? Can you share some advice or wisdom gained that you found helpful for processing?

 
 
(Rebecca from PA pictured above with baby girl)

 

About the obirth blog: The Orgasmic Birth weblog shares the opinions of Orgasmic Birth, Sunken Treasure Publishing and the obirth team as well as weblogs submitted by our readers or guest blogs that may or not be the opinion of Orgasmic Birth. Obirth believes it is time to be BOLD in sharing our thoughts and perspectives, to challenge others to think in new ways and whether we agree or disagree, hopes to have a discussion where we can look at childbirth in new and old ways.  “These are the best of times and the worst of times.”  Opportunity is here to transform maternity care practices and it will take a village. We appreciate your voice and thoughts, along with resources when possible so that together we can contribute to a larger discussion where women, men and communities are empowered to Take Back their Birth!

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Debra Pascali Bonaro is the director of Orgasmic Birth and co-author of the book Orgasmic Birth, Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying and Pleasurable Birth Experience. Debra helps birth pros and new families all over the world learn about the details of gentle birth. Visit www.debrapascalibonaro.com to join in a webinar, attend a destination workshop and learn more about natural childbirth.