We each bring our trust, confidence, courage and/or fears to birth.
Our emotions are contagious and thus each person in a birth circle affects the others and the ability to slow or ease labor. As a doula, we begin the doula journey focused on serving others and that is a big part of what we do, but I also believe that giving is receiving. In giving ourselves openly to another – we are asked to examine and put aside our beliefs, our experiences, and unconditionally support and step into anothers desires and birth wishes. Each birth for me holds up a mirror to my soul – each birth allows me to go deeper into examining my core beliefs, addressing my own fears and blocks and continuing to ask myself what I can learn from each experience.
Being an Orgasmic Birth Doula – means baring your soul, discovering your deepest desires, healing, living with the wild part of yourself and having the courage to speak about birth, sex, desires, comfort, pain and pleasure. There are so many layers to birth and to have an Orgasmic Birth you must explore them all.
Supporting an Orgasmic Birth: From a Doula’s Perspective
#1: First it starts with your own feelings about pleasure, sexuality, birth, comfort and coping. To look at our shadow, the challenges we have had or have, and how we face them, heal, and grow.
- Ask yourself: Do I carry trauma, pain, or anger in relation to my own sexuality?
- How can I heal myself, and learn ways to leave these emotions at the door when I attend births?
#2: What is your relationship to your body and to yourself – do you love yourself? Loving thru labor begins with us and we are unable to pass along what we don’t embrace. Share on Twitter
- Ask yourself: What is my relationship with my body? Do I appreciate its strength, power, and beauty?
- How can I learn to love the amazing body I am so fortunate to wake up within each day?
#3: What are your beliefs and experiences with pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and postpartum?
- Ask yourself: Do I doubt the safeness of birth, have issues with breastfeeding, or my own traumas, have preconceptions about how this should all “look” or “go”?
- How can I overcome any negative conceptions or expectations that I have for my client’s birth, breastfeeding and postpartum journey?
#4: How were you born? What messages about birth have you received growing up, from family, friends, and media?
- Ask yourself: Which aspects of these messages serve you and which aspects or fears do you want to replace?
- How can I work to replace the negative messages and replace them with positive, empowering, and healing? Is my own birth affecting my emotions and the way that I support my client, and can I clear these feelings?
My Mother used to quote me the old saying, “you are what you eat”. In birth, I believe our emotional state, beliefs, and history surrounding birth greatly impacts both our own, but also the birth’s we attend. Our hormone release is reflected by our emotional states, so if you feel emotionally safe and private, or instead emotionally vulnerable or unsafe, the people around us will be unknowingly affected by this. By doing your own emotional work, an Orgasmic Birth doula is prepared to help others to navigate the emotional journey and give birth with love and tools to enhance the flow of the hormones of birth and sex. Orgasmic Birth doulas help to create an environment that honors the physical, emotional, spiritual and sexual aspects of each person and birth.
Finding pleasure in childbirth involves all our senses and beliefs, it requires safety and privacy, courage and boldness. If you are looking for a pleasurable birth or if you want to expand your doula practice to including supporting others to find pleasure in birth – I would love to hear from you. Tweet me your tips for @OrgasmicBirth – ways to support your clients in pleasure and/or what baggage or preconceptions you’ve worked through to help your clients even better each time.
Special thanks to Monet Nicole, Birthing Stories www.monetnicole.com for the use of her stunning images.
If you are doula who would like to discuss ways to support the sensuality and sexuality of childbirth, apply to join our free, private, Orgasmic Birth Doula Group.
If you loved this post and want to learn more ways to support your clients by opening up your own sensuality and sexuality, join our dear friend, Sheila Kamara Hay for her 2017 Ecstatic Birth Practitioner Training. The program is 9 months of training to rebirth yourself and your prenatal/ birth practice into the paradigm of pleasure. Learn more
For an extra special bonus, enjoy Sheila’s program alongside our Pain to Power Online Childbirth Class – a unique blend of current, proven childbirth techniques and knowledge with activities, birth stories, and expert suggestions to guide you to unlocking your inner power and your innate pleasure; in birth and in life. The combined offer is a very special opportunity to open yourself up in ways you’d never imagined before. Learn more about Pain to Power, and register for our combined offer today.