girl-god’s Trista Hendron writes about the Orgasmic Birth movie The Orgasmic Birth movie was beyond moving for me. I found myself sobbing through most of it and for about an hour afterwards. It brought up many things that I had not dealt with yet. I felt grief at seeing women actually supported, comforted and loved while giving birth – even to the point of having multiple orgasms. Mostly I felt sadness that I was so out of touch with myself during both my births. While I had my son without drugs, it was primarily by accident because my labor was so early and short. By the time I reached the hospital, I was already dilated to 10 and literally was told I needed to wait for the doctor to push. I did not take any birthing classes and put all my trust in my beloved male doctor, who was 86 when he delivered my daughter. I intended to go natural with my daughter, but had someone pushing an epidural every few minutes. She was also several weeks “late” so I was given Pitocin to induce my labor, which was scheduled around my doctor’s golf game. Not knowing how long my labor would last (under 3 hours again), I gave into fear and got one. I immediately regretted it. I literally could not feel myself push and didn’t know what was going on beneath the blanket at all. That epidural and circumcising my son remain my two greatest regrets in life. I believe Orgasmic Birth causes you to be at one with yourself because you have to do the work ahead of time. When I had my children, I was certainly not prepared for giving birth and I was definitely not living in peace. My partner at the time was an addict, and there was no time to explore myself, let alone positive birth stories. I wish someone would have told me about Orgasmic Birth instead of Al-Anon. I was so touched by the love expressed by these couples. In my case, my partner had to leave the hospital almost immediately after the birth of our son so he could go “celebrate”. There was very little love or support for me. I was literally working from my hospital bed the day I had my son, and back to the office several days later with a stroller. Initially, I felt grief-struck that I missed this healing birthing experience with both my children. I also know now how important that experience would have been for them, especially given the circumstances of their early lives of living with a father with multiple addictions. We do the best we can with what we know at the time, but I feel anger towards a medical system that perpetuates unnatural birth and a society that tells us to “stand by our man.” We need more support for women, particularly when they are pregnant and raising young children. My daughter will know about Orgasmic Birth. I will be there for her in all the ways I wish someone had been there for me. And, hopefully, she will be more healthy and in-touch with herself and her partner when she decides to have children than I was. The end of the movie was also very powerful (when she talks about not sharing positive birth stories because of not wanting to make other women feel bad). We need these stories. Watching this movie was painful for me. However, it was over in a few hours. Not watching it would have resulted in more pain, stretched out. Our culture is so filled with distractions and it is easy to skip over the grieving we need to do. Sometimes the stories of other women are healing in and of themselves. Sometimes we need to actuallyfeel that pain in order to heal. For all those who shared their stories so openly and generously in this movie, I thank you. I am healed.
(Thank you, Trista! Check out Trista’s fb page at: http://www.facebook.com/#!/thegirlgod)