I became a mother 33 years ago, with the beautiful homebirth of my daughter, 4 years later I gave birth to twins at home again with 2 incredible midwives. During labour I recall a moment of fully surrendering to the power in my body and allowing the dance of birth to fully play out, as my son, my firstborn twin, began emerging from my body. In those moments of full surrender I experienced an exhilarating orgasm that reached to my fingertips, my body felt so aroused and electrified – it was a defining moment for me. I wanted to soak for ages in that bubble of sensuality and bliss, in that raw moment of humanity of giving birth to feel so amazing and full of pure pleasure was just incredible. It wasn’t too long before I felt the waves of contractions coming as I needed to birth my next baby, unfortunately as time revealed my second twin, my daughter, was stillborn. I was in no-mans-land, how do you process this, how do you hold a baby that is not alive, what do you say?

What do you do? So, so many questions! I have pondered many times about telling my story, how can I tell someone that I experienced an orgasm with childbirth, like, who does that? And who wants to hear about a stillborn baby? But I cannot tell one story without the other, as its part of the whole experience for me and for too long I had suppressed sharing these birth experiences with anyone.