What can dads do to overcome fear and become empowered participants in the transformative journey of pregnancy and birth? 


In this episode of the Orgasmic Birth podcast, Debra Pascali Bonaro, joins with Red Miller to delve into the role of fathers in the birthing process. Red offers invaluable advice for dads who may be grappling with fear and uncertainty, emphasizing the importance of their involvement and passion through conversations and educational classes. Listeners will gain a profound understanding of how dads can make informed decisions for a safe and successful birth, fostering alignment within the family unit and paving the way for advocacy in their wider communities.


Red is a Mother, Biodynamic Midwife, Author, and Creatrix of Love Based Birth. 

She helps women navigate their pregnancies with sacred intuition and embodied love, so they can connect to their magic, be fully empowered in their choices, and birth with more ease and pleasure. As a biodynamic midwife, Red has guided thousands of women from around the globe to bridge the gap between the birth of their dreams and everything that is keeping them from experiencing exactly that. Red’s unique approach provides women with tools to build support structures, navigate the health system they are working in and transform their fears into positive action.


In this episode:

  • Debra Pascali-Bonaro interviews Red Miller, a biodynamic midwife, who shares her experiences attending over a thousand births worldwide in diverse settings
  • Red shares insights on gentle and pleasurable births, highlighting the importance of including and informing dads, who become powerful advocates for their partners and other expectant fathers
  • She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging fathers’ fears and providing them with support and information from birth professionals and fellow dads
  • The father’s role in creating a supportive environment is emphasized, showing the positive impact across diverse cultures and backgrounds
  • Red Miller highlights the importance of helping dads understand the “why” behind gentle birth and its long-term health benefits
  • Advises to ads are given to act as gatekeepers and advocates, ensuring their partner’s needs are met during hospital births

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Key Takeaways:

  • Partner alignment and connection during pregnancy impact the birthing experience, postpartum period, and family dynamic
  • Building a community and receiving guidance helps fathers transition from fear to love during childbirth
  • Practical techniques, such as supporting the mother’s changing body and practicing massages, empower fathers and enhance the birthing experience
  • Flexibility and open communication are crucial for dads to adapt to their partner’s changing needs during labor, fostering a strong sense of teamwork and mutual decision-making
  • Dads should be prepared as interior designers, creating a comfortable birthing environment
  • Dads often feel regret and a desire for advocacy after realizing they lacked important information earlier


“Dads really just want to be included; they want to be informed. And when they do feel included, and they know what to do, and they feel informed, they actually become the most amazing advocates.” – Red Miller


“It’s about really acknowledging Dads also have fears, and as women, we have limited spaces somehow to talk about this, but we have so many more spaces than dads do”.- Red Miller

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Pleasurable Birth Essentials: Transform Pain to Power provides a unique blend of sexy scientific  knowledge, engaging activities, birth stories, and expert guidance to lead you to unlocking your inner power and your innate pleasure.