Lack of good sexual education has led to a rise in fear of childbirth and dissatisfaction with the experience. Debra highlights the importance of having a positive experience during labor and birth, emphasizing the importance of trusting one’s body. Midwives play an important role in making women feel confident and empowered in the childbirth process. It is important for people to have access to trained midwives who can provide support during labor and delivery. The Global Survey on Birth and Breastfeeding Practices was convened to launch a global initiative to improve breastfeeding rates. Debra talks about how collaborating with other organizations have led to a number of successes, including the creation of the International Childbirth Initiative. Debra also tackles the effects of bad birth experiences on people’s feelings about their bodies and relationships.
What an important and personal discussion I had with Sarah Bivens from Doing It At Home, a company helping parents to feel confident, prepared and excited for home birth She shared a bit of her own birth story and decision to change from a hospital birth to a home birth and then we dove deep into her practices that include utilizing sexual energy for manifestation, healing and joy (as opposed to only looking at it for procreation, fun and/or duty)!
She shared how important it is for us to do our own work on having healthy relationship to sexuality and went onto discuss sexuality as a pillar of health (in all senses of the term) that impacts creativity and expression.
Watch our conversation below.
Tilly shared her story of how her first birth opened her up to a pleasurable birth experience and she wanted that feeling of being fully connected to her body again without having to be in labor. She explains how “Birth has a way of awakening and pushing up our trauma and drama “ and how healing is at the root of what holds many people back from experiencing their pleasure and desire to its fullest. Yes!! For me this is so important to consider as pregnancy, birth, and early parenting benefit so much from healing and as Tilly said acknowledging that intergenerational trauma – what is handed down from our ancestors, impacts us and now as a new parent you have a choice of bringing healing and providing your children with a different story and healthy connection to their body, pleasure, and sexuality. I asked her and ask you to consider what the world would be like if everyone had a positive relationship to your body, pleasure, and sexuality with great sexual education so you can experience your pleasure in birth to its fullest?
I would love to hear your thoughts?
My husband ran to press the button that opens the condominium door on the bottom floor (we’re on the third). He ran back to me, I pushed out our baby, and he put her on my chest. The whole birth team rushed in together. “We’re here!!! OMG you did it!! We’re here! You did amazing!!” I heard the click-click of the camera. I had done it. Maria Elena was so sweet looking up at me. She stretched and seemed to like having extra space. We stared at each other. It was pure magic.
I had a very smooth pregnancy and actually felt some gratitude towards this crazy situation (Covid). I normally travel a lot for work and was worried that my work travel schedule would create stress during my pregnancy. Since we had to be at home, I really slowed down, became more present, and even further connected with my husband during this special time in our lives. Up until little Oliver’s arrival, I stayed as active as possible walking, swimming, and practicing yoga.
Together with the help of many birth keepers, we’ve compiled a list of the birth groups and ways you can donate, send supplies and hold both the MotherBaby-Families and those providing care in your heart and prayers for safety, strength, and with love. We will continue to surround them with love and support in these challenging times.
Please comment below or email us to add additional resources. Our document is a living doc, and we will update as more information comes in.
A hospital with a bed and stirrups is definitely lacking in privacy and feeling unobserved, and it may not be as safe as you’d like.
The process of labor and birth is controlled by a carefully orchestrated set of hormones and processes. These processes are enhanced by the environment and the comfort and calm that can be maintained. A birthing person feeling stress or adrenaline will reduce the building hormones needed to continue moving labor forward.
So, when you walk into a birth room and only see a bed and stirrups, your response should be “what else do you have available for comfort and privacy during birth?”
The anatomy of birth is the anatomy of pleasure, intimacy, and sacred sexuality. Birth moves a baby through a cervix, vagina, opens the labia, and touches clitoral nerves – all that under the right conditions can also bring pleasure and orgasm. I always say if you were to tell a person with a penis that they would have sensations there for over 10 hours, but that it isn’t sexual, that they would look at you like they were crazy!
After a year-long, community-centered process led by Every Mother Counts, the Choices in Childbirth series launches this week! This is a FIRST-OF-ITS-KIND educational hub for pregnancy, birth, and beyond–including films, worksheets, and helpful advice to guide every stage of your maternity care … Continued
Guest post While everyone always congratulates the soon-to-be mother, a celebration may be the last thing on your mind when you find out you’ll soon be bringing a new life into the world. From endless doctor’s appointments and constant cramps … Continued
How Birth Effected her Sexuality TW: miscarriage shared by Aimee I have had six incredible birth journeys, each one beautifully supported and held. I felt empowered to make my own decisions and supported to traverse to the depths of … Continued
The First Sight is Everything – Homebirth Story of Danae The hardest, proudest, most intense, beautiful, empowering, healing, soul connecting, incredible experience of my life! ~ birthing my son at home. Never in a million years did I think I … Continued
If you need support contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673 When Survivors Give Birth Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault Our webinar covered difficult feelings that can be challenging, and yet is essential to talk about. I hope as you listen … Continued
By the time you got pregnant, chances are you saw plenty of people on TV and in movies having painful, difficult births, complete with lots of screaming and crying (and maybe a spouse’s hand being squished, too).
But what if birth didn’t have to be anything like that? What if it could be pleasurable? It turns out that there’s a movement trying to help more people experience this type of orgasmic birth.
I felt like I had to learn how to push.
It was the most POWERFUL feeling I could ever imagine and I was in awe of my animal nature. It was as if the power of all the women before me was coming through as I roared and roared. Laurence and Francesca were like my cheerleaders. They were so so amazing, words can’t explain.
Catching Your Own Baby shared by Hannah Atterberry, Empowerment Birth Services My birth was such an incredible journey. It was long… it was intense… and oh. So. Satisfying! Intense, transcending, beautiful, empowering, powerful all describe my birth perfectly. My daughter … Continued
When I told him “I study pleasure experienced during birth,” he said, “There’s no such thing.” Author: Elisabeth Bolaza Here’s how it went down. I was a very large 6-months pregnant with my second baby with the audacity to travel … Continued
One of the greatest joys of being the founder of the Orgasmic Birth movement is meeting people around the world who are in all different places of healing and expanding into their vision for birth and parenting.
I’ll never forget meeting Sarah-Jane at our Eat Pray Doula retreat in Bali. It was particularly special because Sarah-Jane was preparing to welcome her second child. We were not only able to spend a beautiful time together during our eight-day retreat, but afterwards we enjoyed many hours together as she moved through the many emotions and healing from her first birth as she prepared for her second.
I loved watching her create her incredible and supportive birth team as she prepared for a beautiful Orgasmic Birth. I’m so excited to share our special webinar – reconnecting and sharing not only her ecstatic birth story but with inspirational tips and wisdom as she is birthing forward her wisdom in some very special ways.
Seeing each person find their power in birth is an honour beyond what I have words to describe, I invite you to hear for yourself Sarah-Jane’s power of birth. ~Debra
Wolfgang Martin Winter (Wolf) was born at home on February 25th at 3:23am. This is his birth story. To start the story of Wolfgang’s birth I have to rewind a bit. In May of 2017 Wolf’s big sister, Violet was … Continued
Empowering Birth Story Today I want to share the story of one of my doula clients, Naomi. Here’s what Sara Elizabeth, another student, had to say about watching Naomi’s birth story: “The videos of Naomi’s first and second birth experiences … Continued
Having an Orgasmic Birth with Renee Rodriguez Renée Rodriguez talks about her experience of pregnancy as a woman in the corporate world and how she was able to explore birth options that were as dynamic as her changing life. She … Continued
Are you ready to begin your doula practice or learn how to support your partner, friend, or family at their birth? BECOME A DOULA Download my free guide9 Steps to become a working doula [in less than 1 month] Plus, … Continued
Renée Rodriguez talks about her experience of pregnancy as a woman in the corporate world and how she was able to explore birth options that were as dynamic as her changing life. She highlights how involving sexuality throughout both of her labors transformed her state of mind and being, ultimately leading to two orgasmic births. With her stories, she aims to emphasize that you don’t need perfect conditions or a perfect pregnancy to have an orgasmic birth.
Find more resources for expectant parents: https://orgasmicbirth.thinkific.com/for-parents
Yanique Bell is a Tantric Intimacy and Empowerment Coach, also known as the Pussy Queen. She helps wild-hearted woman reclaim their pussies and unlock their sacred potential.
She got her Bachelor’s in Religion from Princeton University, where as a former pre-med student, she focused on the relationship between Religion and Science. A long-time lover of the mystical with a deep hunger for knowledge, Yanique takes an approach to healing and actualization that weaves both ancient wisdom and modern science. She’s gone from being a celibate people-pleasing Christian good-girl, someone who was “holy and broken” to a woman who is “whole and complete.” And now, she’s here to guide you deeper and deeper into YOUR personal wild.
She joined my Orgasmic Birth Practitioner Members (interested, learn more here) for a webinar and I’m excited to share a snippet of that with you today.
Are you dreaming of your birth with many swirling emotions?
Would you like to have a safe, gentle birth with respect and love?
Are you afraid of the pain and wondering if you can do it?
Are you confused?
There are so many options and stories it’s hard to know what is best.
A doula can make the difference to help you achieve the birth you desire!
Carolyn DeLucia, MD., FACOG is a board-certified OB/GYN helping women to regain their feminine empowerment through sexual wellness by solving painful sex, lack of sensation, and pleasure. She helps women to restore their confidence, reconnect with their partners and reclaim their lives. She is also the author of Ultimate Intimacy.
Dr. DeLucia shares a review of female anatomy, G-Spot, Clitoris and the effects of childbirth, menopause, and estrogen on the vaginal walls and sexual sensation.
She also shares a beautiful understanding of how our vulvas are each like a snowflake, beautiful, and unique.
My dharma is to raise you, Harmony Riot, in the consciousness of this Essence which lives and breathes inside of you. I love you from the depths of my being and I will model to you how to love yourself above all else and then offer that love to the world 🌎
WOMBen… take your power back, reclaim your birth, you just might hold more strength than you realize… I bow to you, Namaste 🙏
Our guest, Sheila Kamara Hay shares 3 key topics birth practitioners need to know to support pleasurable birth. You’ll learn about reconnecting with your body’s wisdom, expansive pleasure, and how to have an ecstatic birth amongst the intensity that comes with labor. She calls this “Body, Bliss, and Ecstatic Birth”. If you want to watch Sheila’s full interview and other guest experts, be sure to join our wait list for our Orgasmic Birth Practitioners: https://www.orgasmicbirth.com/practitionerwaitlist
Elizabeth Clyde, the author of Pregnant and Empowered, retells her birth stories and discusses her experience as an African American millennial mother. She advises pregnant people to make birth a mental experience and to make it their own. She found the presence of mind to be a powerful, reflexive tool that is useful whether a birth experience is a marathon or a sprint. Elizabeth emphasizes the importance of advocating as the primary care for your child and explores how disparities emerge from lack of encouragement toward education. The power in birthing and nursing a child is one that should be chosen but is too often stolen away.
Regardless, I had set everything up to make sure this birth was everything I wanted. I had been suprised weeks before, on return from a rare outting, by Bodhi and Clint, who had decorated our loungeroom and from that moment on it was referred to as our birthing space. Bodhi meticulously positioned the birth pool in the exact spot it was for his birth, we had blockout curtains on every doorway, fairy lights, affirmations, crystals, diffusers, homeopathy, essential oils, blankets, towels, baby cloths, cloth nappies, GoPros and cameras set up… I wanted to spend time floating in the birth pool before birthing in there with Clint and Bodhi in the pool too, and my birth plan even listed Bodhi as one of the people to “catch the baby”. I had taken him shopping in the weeks leading up for his own mirror as he had become equally as obsessed as me with watching birthing videos and seeing the baby crown. I had an Erykah Badu playlist ready (I think she’s a Queen and FUN FACT she is a Doula; more on that at another time), I had planned everything to the T. Which oils would be in the diffuser at each stage of labour, I had premixed roller bottles with instructions of when and how to apply, I had a memo on the wall of when to call Janine and Me
After many months of struggling to conceive and with the help of fertility assistance, we were finally pregnant! I went in for an early ultrasound to make sure everything was progressing normally and then – TWINS!! The first thought that went through my head was – “oh no!!! My birth!!” Thinking I may be doomed to a medicalized hospital birth or cesarean. Little did I know I was already under the care of remarkable midwives who had vast experience supporting twin home births, so the doors of possibilities for a positive and peaceful home birth experience were still wide open to me!
Let’s talk about our Rights In Birth.
Not just those that we “expect” like quality care, and respect, but even more. It’s time to start demanding that birth is more than just another medical procedure, that it can be full of love, pleasure and power.
Today, I’m sharing with you what I call your “Pleasure Rights” in Birth.
1. You have a right to a Pleasurable Birth (SHOCKING? But I believe it’s the basis of all rights in birth.)
Bailey Gaddis Birth Story My labor came on strong and fast. For the first hour one contraction would roll right into the next, and I was convinced the Mexican food I had earlier that evening was wrecking havoc on my … Continued
Caroline, a Doula and birth photographer from Belgium walks us through her two different birth stories and talks about how she learned from the first to advocate throughout the second. This involved making decisions based on what felt right for her body and overall exploring her options and finding ways to make them possible. Caroline discusses the important role that movement played in her second birth and how the support of her birth “crew” felt like the final pieces coming together for her complete experience.
Michelle and Rodrigo were able to grow through the sacred experience of birth as a couple. They highlight the importance of using a doula as well as educating onesself on the options of labor and knowing what to expect. Throughout their experience they prioritized honest communication and normalizing when things don’t go according to plan. Also, their discussion of a birth ambiance featuring a neutral yet decorated safe space mentions the use of calling upon ancestry for assistance and support.
Nienke de Leeuw, a midwife of Vive, a group based in Amsterdam, talks us through her two birth stories and her discovery, exploration, and experience of orgasmic birth. She describes a transformation she took on within her role as a midwife to explore pleasure and joy in birth as a result of her own experiences and expansion of ideology. Nienke also discusses the benefits she has experienced with sensual dance and emphasizes the importance of prioritizing self love before and after pregnancy.
Reena, a Balinese midwife, moved to Belgium with her partner and gave birth to two children in a completely new culture. We got together to catch up, and she shares with me about her first and second births, the things she changed, and how she healed.
Using all of her knowledge as a midwife, her first birth experience, and her love of Bali, Reena worked to create an environment that would remind her of the comforts of her Bali home. With the help of a supportive team, Reena was able to feel confident in her second birth.
In Part V of our six-part video series with Dr. Sarah Buckley, we discuss the sexuality of childbirth. Childbirth is Sexual?? Yes, it actually is! There are so many parallels between sex and birth, and neither flow as well when … Continued
Induction of labor has become increasingly common but is not always successful because of how it differs from physiological onset of labor. The optimal number of oxytocin receptors are often not yet ready during induction which means contractions can be longer, stronger, and closer together. This hormonal gap can be closed, however, with skin to skin contact as well as breastfeeding.
While pre-labor cesarean sections can lead to hormone gaps for MotherBaby, beginning labor before the cesarean birth can limit these effects. This allows hormones such as catecholamine to surge and ready the baby to exit the womb. Skin to skin contact and breastfeeding are post-labor ways to bridge the hormone gap as well. Find out more about Dr. Sarah Buckley’s perspectives on gentle cesarean births.
In Part II of our six-part video series with Dr. Sarah Buckley, we weigh the benefits and risks of using an epidural for pain management in labor.
Our naturally occurring hormones of labor also act as pain relievers.
Together with Dr. Buckley we discuss how these work, how an epidural can effect our hormones, and ways to close the gaps when we do need an epidural.
We do want to honor those that chose to have an epidural. No one should ever suffer in birth and sometimes an epidural is the right choice.
However, knowing all of the benefits and risks, will help you weigh whether an epidural is right for you.
Watch below for more.
Your Brain, Birth and Pleasure: Mother Nature’s Superb Design – Dr. Sarah Buckley discusses the positive feedback loop of hormones in childbirth. Learn why birth is designed to be the best first date ever to fall in love and get ready for a lifetime of parenting. Understand how to have an ecstatic birth, how to set up a birth environment according to the science of our brains and why birthing a baby requires the same environment as making a baby.
Stella looked curiously into our eyes. It felt as if I had always had her in my arms. After about 40 minutes Josh cut the cord and we went up. The midwives thought I was bleeding a little too much so they gave me a shot of synthetic oxytocin to stop the bleeding quicker. On my way into our bedroom I said that I wanted to do this at least 10 more times. Everyone laughed. In the light of a torch, Leopi gave me a few stitches since I had tore a little bit, probably because I had pushed so hard and fast. At last we got into bed and the midwives left quietly. The following day they came back to check on us and Stella. We stayed in bed for the rest of the week and were cared for by friends and family who came over with nutritious meals. That way we could spend all our energy on our little star.
When I became a doula 5 months after my VBAC birth, I didn’t “believe” in home birth. As if home birth needs me to believe in it (ha!). And less than a year and a half later I would be giving birth in a fishy pool in my living room. I had preconceived notions about home birth being unsafe, about mothers and babies dying, about home birth being something only radical and rebellious people did (I hadn’t quite tuned into that part of my life yet). And yet, when I decided on my youngest son’s 1st birthday to have another baby, and subsequently found myself pregnant 3 weeks later, I couldn’t help but feel curious about it.
This birth turned off the little voice in my head that shut down every ambition and good idea I had and turned on my self-confidence, my power, my curiosity, and erased every bit of fear I have ever had. It was a transformative moment that changed me forever. The work I did during my pregnancy, the support team I built for myself, the active role I took in my birth, it all had impacts far beyond the delivery room, and is the fuel behind my lifelong passion to improve the maternal experience.
When Birth Isn’t What You Expected: 3 Lessons by Kaitlin McGreyes Kaitlin had three very different births that reflect her journey from new mom to seasoned birthworker and advocate for women’s health. Each experience offered lessons and room for growth … Continued
by Ariel BK On Saturday, November 9, 2019, I had my first contraction at 10:33pm. Contractions continued from this point onward, throughout the rest of the evening and into Sunday morning, lasting about 30 seconds, about 10-20 minutes apart. All … Continued
When you were planning to give birth, how many choices of location did you consider? 1, 2, 3? I am always reminded of my dear friend and colleague Roberta Scarer’s quote, “if you don’t know your options you don’t have … Continued
Is there something going on that you know you must address, as Debra did?
Is this your wake up call?
Debra has decided to do another 30 Day Transformation in January and we are excited to invite you to learn more about what’s involved as you design your pleasurable 2021.
Join us December 16th at 1pm PT | 4pm ET to an intimate Zoom with Debra and I, where we will share more about our journeys and how this nutrition may support you. Here’s the link. We look forward to midwifing you along the path of transforming your health.
by Naomi In February I gave birth to our second daughter, Nirvana Freya Lee. I was alone when she arrived and received her into my arms myself. It was a powerful and sacred moment. Here’s how her amazing birth unfolded… … Continued
by Nena Complo When you were almost here, about ready to emerge I knelt upon my bed, and fell into deep prayer To you I told you about everyone in the room, loving you and waiting for you I confided … Continued
by Alejandra Lozano, LCCE, Midwife, Orgasmic Birth Community Manager Since the birth of her son Mariano, she became passionate about birth, and began her preparation to become a professional and traditional midwife, with the intention that more women have the … Continued
October is Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month. About one in four pregnancies ends in pregnancy loss. For many people this can be an emotional process, and it is important that they receive care in a setting that is comfortable and safe.
Amy Wright Glenn, the Founder of The Institute for Birth, Breathe and Death has a special, limited time offer for you to expand your knowledge in supporting families around loss.
You are the expert on your body and your baby! Your care providers should be like lifeguards there to help you when you need assistance, but otherwise they sit quietly in the corner as you navigate the gentle waters, giving you the privacy and safety you need to experience the intimacy and joy of childbirth.
How do you begin to prepare for an Orgasmic Birth?
I coped so well through that labour. I was lying in bed but comfortable, totally in lala labourland. But at one point a nurse came in and tried asking me some questions. I was so in the zone that I could only answer with a slight nod of my head.
“She must know better than me…”
She then told me “I know you wanted to avoid the epidural but if you can’t even speak with me now how on earth are you going to push a baby out?”.
I woke up around 5am due to a light ache in my belly. I knew that it was a beginning and I felt very quiet. I just knew that we would meet very soon and decided to continue sleeping and give Arturas time to rest. Every morning we had the same things: fresh papayas, oatmeal with dates, sesame seeds and peanut butter, but this time it felt different. It was a strange feeling overall, I felt slow, everything I did was slower than usual, thinking, moving around, almost like taking time to experience every moment in full. I felt like I had a secret which no one saw or knew about. But there were special processes within me – the little one was coming into this world.
I had these intense and close-knit contractions for over 14 hours, and now comes the surprising thing about my case: Those uterine contractions were completely painless to me.
Despite the stupefaction of the nurses and the gynecologist who attended me, my uterine contractions were completely painless …
On multiple occasions they offered me epidural anesthesia, I always rejected it. I felt no pain at all.
What was going on in my uterus? For a time I thought that I might have some kind of special sensitivity to pain. But later I found out that it wasn’t that at all.
I honor and celebrate you! You have become (or are about to become) a parent. You are doing the most important job in the world to shape the next generation with your love and parenting.
I remember when I first became a parent and wondered why there is no preparation for parenting that includes all the changes you will experience in your relationship and sexuality.
I couldn’t find any book that honored this aspect of the major life transition of parenting.
There was nothing out there that celebrated mothers, and all birthing people, and our new and changed bodies.
Childbirth is a portal of self-knowledge and connection, and motherhood is a channel for the present. I was studying postmodern midwifery at the Da-a-Luz school, Andalucía, Spain, in a community very focused on women, nature and alternative ways of living. Most of the people there live in trailers, caravans and tents; they spend most of the day outside and live very closely with their neighbors. The school’s classes take place in a vagina-shaped building, and we study inside the womb. After having spent 5 years using IUDs, and 4 of them without menstruating, it was a huge reconnection with my feminine to know this school and these people: to live with women planting their menstrual blood, holding women’s circles, singing at the fire and bathing in the river. After the first year at school, I got pregnant by my partner Elijah, and we decided to give birth there.
Join our Pleasurable Birth Essentials Online Class to Positively Prepare for your Birth!
“I knew this birth would be different from Odyns, from all that came in between, and it was my second baby after all, but I don’t think I could’ve seen this. Since around December 12 I’d been having start and stop contractions and felt like labor would come at any time. Of course the next weeks were torture because nothing ever came of any of it…”
El nacimiento de Mariano, el día que pari mi cuerpo.
Desde el momento en que supe que estaba embarazada todo mi pensamiento se fue a investigar el proceso, los cambios que sucederían, el desarrollo de mi bebé y el parto, lo que mas me intrigaba era el tema de la epidural, le tenia una especie de terror a esa intervención… no había a quien preguntarle mas que a mi mamá que decía que no era para tanto, seguí investigando hasta que encontré la opción del parto en agua en Monterrey, Nuevo León, México, lo que me llevo a encontrar cursos de preparación para el parto (me sirvieron muchísimo) y fue donde encontré a mi partera, en ese momento mi vida cambio totalmente, estaba decidida a tener un parto en casa (y a convertirme en partera), no había otra opción posible en mi cabeza, así tendría que ser, a costa de lo que fuera.
Hi! I’m Alejandra Lozano, a Midwife in continuous learning and development. My history has been long and will continue, today I want to share a little bit of it…
The love for midwifery started when I got pregnant and I meet the midwives who would attend the birth of my son Mariano, who is 8 years old today. As soon as I met the first midwife I had ever seen in my entire life, I felt a deep admiration and inspiration inside me that led me to forget about my birth for a few moments and strongly desire to be a Midwife, I wanted it so much so much that I said it out loud without thinking, that was the beginning of everything…
I accompanied the first birth as a doula, I quickly realized that my place was not in hospitals. I love being a Doula and it’s a job that I deeply honor, yet my heart has always belonged to midwifery and home births. Then my Midwife became my teacher, and when my son was 2 years old she started teaching me.
I began moaning and doing my best to keep the sound flowing, as it seemed to help me stay afloat. With my knees on the floor and my arms gripping the pillows tightly in front of me, my body was in control. I attempted to quiet my mind and began rocking back and forth now, as opposed to side to side like I’d done while standing. I kept thinking about how I should try to perceive the sensations as interesting instead of painful. Some of the time, I found I was able to flow through part of a contraction as though I were simply witnessing an intense feeling, observing a wild ride that my body was on. Though, much of the time, I was experiencing it as the most intense pain I’ve ever felt, only comparable to the birth of my son.
by Asta I wanted what “they were having” I was determined. It was November of 2014 and I had just discovered the film that would completely change my world – “Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret”. The documentary left me in complete … Continued
I fell back to using my hypnobirthing practices, telling myself to breathe through each contraction rather than letting myself get upset and tense. I genuinely feel that this mindset is what allowed me to have such a peaceful and wonderful birthing experience.
I climbed onto all fours and leaned my top half over a beanbag for support. My body told me to sway my hips back and forth and I gave in, listening to every cue that I was being given.
I’m pretty sure that you were conceived just before Christmas and during one of the craziest storms I’ve ever experienced. I was supporting someone as their doula at the birth centre here in Ubud, and Daddy was in Java working. The energy from the birth combined with that of the storm made for a crazy night. I was taking a quick breather outside the birth room in the middle of the night, when one of the midwives walked past and said, “I didn’t know that you were pregnant”. “I’m not” I replied. Suastini looked at me funny. I later learned that she has an innate intuition for knowing when people are pregnant. Sometimes, it turns out, even before they do themselves.
You were also born during an epic storm on the night that the following rainy season started. It rained through the roof of our house and in through the ceiling of the room we were birthing in.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Interestingly, Daddy and I had only very recently had a conversation about having another baby. About how, after being told that it was unlikely that we would have children naturally and trying for three and a half years for Indi, we felt incredibly blessed and completely accepting of the fact that we may only have one child.
Clearly you had other ideas about that!
Indi and I went for a walk to the pharmacy and that night, after she was asleep and without thinking to tell Daddy about my suspicions, I did the pregnancy test. I was so shocked at the positive result that I couldn’t speak and just went downstairs and showed it to Papa. Understandably, he was a little confused about the situation, and it took a few minutes for what he was seeing to sink in.
We sat and held one another for quite a long time while we let the news soak in. What a truly wonderful Christmas gift. I did have one concern though: how on earth was I going to find the same amount of love for another baby, that I had for your sister? Was my capacity to love that great?
Apart from nausea and some extra tiredness until I was around 14 weeks pregnant, early pregnancy was fairly uneventful with you! The biggest challenge for me was breastfeeding your sister through the intensely sensitive nipples I had during those first weeks! My pregnancy was busy, healthy and active and the months whizzed by. Naturally, we planned a home birth for you.
Over long years teaching acupuncturists and students at a busy L&D unit in New York, and listening carefully to other birth professionals such as Debra, I have come to rely on needles less and less. Instead I focus mainly on understanding what is happening in birth from the perspective of Yin or Yang abundance or deficiency, and the free or obstructed flow of Qi. From that understanding, I teach a mixture of approaches for helping out before, during and after birth, using Chinese home care methods such as foot soaks, exercises and simple dietary modifications, as well as acupressure and Chinese bodywork (Tuina). Few acupuncturists are allowed to needle in hospitals, but most of them have friends, family and beloved patients who can benefit from their insight and touch throughout the birth journey. I therefore proposed to the publisher that the book should be a resource of primarily non-needling approaches for acupuncturists, and they agreed.
In my documentary, Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret, Dr. Sarah Buckley says: “Personally I think the most effective form of pain relief for a laboring woman is to have people around her to support her and with whom she feels comfortable and relaxed.If she’s in a state where the hormones are working superbly as they do in an undisturbed birth, the need for pain relief will be very low.”
This is an essential concept in all of my work – the need for privacy, safety, support and encouragement.
If you want to learn how to achieve a pleasurable birth, I have the roadmap for you.
For many years I had wanted to tell my story to someone who would totally understand and “get it” and that person was Debra Pascali-Bonaro. After sharing my birth stories with Debra in Bali, I have never felt so validated and heard before, it was such a beautiful moment to share together and will remain very special to me forever. Debra affirmed my experience, with celebration, gentleness and so much love and understanding, and it was such a pleasure to feel that I could be true to the truth of what happened in those moments of my life.
Unrecognized by medicine for years, myself and other birth workers were noting that childbirth was a fully integrated mind-body-soul experience, full of hormone release, emotions, and with deeply sacred and physical components. It was apparent that birth was designed to create ease in breastfeeding, bonding and the important attachment of MotherBaby love. Dr. Sarah Buckley’s Hormonal Physiology report was the science to back up all we knew and believed deep down – that a challenging or traumatic birth was creating more difficulties to overcome, often making it harder to breastfeed, increasing risks of depression and adjustment to parenthood.
The Beautiful Work Challenge: On Birth
What are the essentials of birth? Who broke maternity care? Is transformation possible? Empowerment, disempowerment, the health of babies & society all begin at birth. Have you thought about these questions? I am honored to be a part along with many of my mentors, colleagues and friends in this powerful discussion in The Beautiful Work Challenge: On Birth–a new podcast.
Red Miller joined me for a pleasure filled, orgasmic webinar. It’s filled with so many amazing tips for finding your own pleasure in birth and life.
-Preparing for a Pleasurable Birth
-How to Claim your Power Instead of Giving it Away
-Orgasmic Birth is more than Orgasm
-Self-Love Practices Every Pregnant Mamma Needs
-The most loving way to address an intervention
-What do your throat and your vagina have in common?
By Debra Pascali-Bonaro Imagine the day you will give birth, bringing a new life into the world. You have waited 9+ months – feeling new life moving within, anticipating labor, birth and what life will be like as a parent. … Continued
Byron Bay hinterlands – a dream homebirth story 18.9.2013 – The day before my estimated due date. After seeing my friend Priscylla and asking her little darling daughter Lyluna to tell the baby boy in my belly to finally come … Continued
by Sam Sundara My birth experience taught me about being open emotionally and how holding onto fear actually creates pain. I remember a moment through transitioning where I actually completely opened to those overwhelming sensations & feelings, and it was … Continued
By @bornathome5 This is the story of my fifth homebirth. With four successful homebirths under my belt and a strong belief in the birth process and my body’s ability, my partner and I decided to try for an unassisted birth. … Continued
Eita Segawa was the inspirational organizer of the first Orgasmic Birth Screening in Japan. I was moved to meet him as the universe’s divine timing had me in Japan with Kiyoe to teach doula workshops at the exact time Orgasmic … Continued
As a childbirth educator and doula / Dona doula trainer, I see fear in childbirth growing, both in providers and consumers. While we are making improvement in many areas of life – in the U.S and some other countries childbirth … Continued
V-day is a great day to explore and create “Orgasmic – Pleasure”. Whether you are expecting to have a baby on Valentine’s, are pregnant, are a parent, or see parenthood in your future or not, you can create an Orgasmic … Continued
by Natalie Telyatnikov When I was just 1 day shy of 41 weeks gestation, my midwife called me, concerned. “There are a few things that make homebirths less safe,” she said, “and this is one of them.” In this instance, my midwife … Continued
Throughout her-story there were rituals to prepare people for the rite of passage of birth and parenthood. These were often ceremonies that built self esteem, connection to family and community, healed and cleared obstacles in our relationship with parents, our … Continued
Savitha Kopperla Breech Birth Of One Brave Mamma, and her Breech Birth Story at 43 weeks complete! Rewind: Feb 2015: I helped her birth her footling breech baby girl naturally. In that pregnancy, she got so fed up with the … Continued
I take drugs, but only when I’m giving birth How is it that we have become more comfortable with technology, drugs and artificial hormones in childbirth, while at the same time we are seeing a movement back towards natural food … Continued
Note from Debra: My dear friend, Jaqueline Eddaoudi has been on an amazing journey giving birth to five children at home with her 6th is on the way. Jaqueline and I met when she was my translator for a big … Continued
“When you add Pleasure to Pain – Pain can become Pleasurable!” -Carina to Arizona in Grey’s Anatomy when discussing using masturbation to get a laboring mother’s natural oxytocin to flow, moving labor along in the most pleasurable way possible! Grey’s … Continued
For mothers who are thrilled with their birthing experience, For mothers that are not, For mothers to be that have no clue what to expect. By Tanja Nenadovic Vasquez This is the story about my pregnancy and natural, vaginal, … Continued
Lots of midwives and doulas have discovered in the last years how to use the Rebozo for their pregnant and birthing clients. This way of relaxing and moving during Pregnancy and birth comes from traditional midwives from Mexico (like Naoli … Continued
Birth story Sifra Door Caroline Devulder op 28-04-2017 Sweet Sifra, Your birth story begins on Saturday the 22nd of April 2017. At 00h40 I received a call from your mom telling me that her water broke. I was only asleep … Continued
New research is strong that doulas reduce the chance of cesarean birth (or vacuum/forcep assisted birth, shorten length of labor, reduced use of pain medication, and a more positive birth experience. The newest review from the Cochrane Collective states that … Continued
Take 3 minutes to sit comfortably and consider which door you will choose when planning to birth with pleasure. Feel your connection to the earth, the floor, your breathe. Now, take 3 deep breaths and begin to feel your body … Continued
As a doula and film-maker, I’ve had the honor of attending all types of births, in all different locations – hospital, homebirth, and birth center births. Each birth is unique, each mother/father/partner/family, each care provider, each location. While homebirth is … Continued
Why having a doula at your birth will help you to create a safe, satisfying and pleasurable birth experience! 1. Your (hospital, Doctor, Midwife) is AWESOME Many women believe they don’t need to hire a doula because their hospital is … Continued
We each bring our trust, confidence, courage and/or fears to birth. Our emotions are contagious and thus each person in a birth circle affects the others and the ability to slow or ease labor. As a doula, we begin the … Continued
I always planned a homebirth. My mother had planned for me to be born at home and it always just seemed like normal. But unfortunately due to a haemorrhage after my first was born I felt safer in hospital for … Continued
Science to the rescue for a Safe, Sexy, Scientific and (yes) Orgasmic Birth By Debra Pascali-Bonaro First, it’s important to talk about what makes birth UNSAFE. In our current model of maternity care there are many practices that increase … Continued
Turning a page for Maternity Care I am pleasantly surprised that we may be FINALLY turning a page in the her-story of medicalized maternity care. While most fields of medicine base their practices on the latest and best science, maternity care … Continued
What’s It Actually Like to Have an Orgasmic Birth? By Nina Bahadur “Orgasmic birth—a phenomenon of labor and delivery being pleasurable, also called ecstatic birth—is a controversial topic. One study estimates about 0.3 percent of women experience one. Some … Continued
by Sheila Kamara Hay The seeds of my business, Ecstatic Birth, were conceived years ago with my first pregnancy. I desired a birth that would leave me breathless and marveling at my body’s strength, wisdom, and capacity to bring forth … Continued
“The widespread use of synOT in managed labor warrants caution, as the influence of synOT on a new mother’s well-being is evident at 2 months postpartum.” Intrapartum Synthetic Oxytocin and Its Effects on Maternal Well-Being at 2 Months Postpartum. As … Continued
Kim Anami, sex and relationship coach shares how to lift weights with your vagina in this fun video. And then in this video Kim shows her STRONG vaginal muscles at work…and some amusing reactions! Love this and want more amazing … Continued
So many women are concerned about their postpartum recoveries… Will my vagina go back to the way it was? Will sex no longer be enjoyable? Will I have urinary incontinence? Kim Anami, is a globe-trotting coach, national media commentator … Continued
I recently had the opportunity to be featured on Cosmopolitan Magazine’s Happy Hour Podcast. It was really fun sharing my message of love, power, pleasure and ORGASMIC BIRTH with the host. The podcast just went live, and it was a … Continued
“Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out. –Karl Augustus Menninger” YES. I really believe this – I believe that fear is mostly created by the unknown. I believe that by educating and empowering yourself, … Continued
Instead of crying, yelling or cursing when you stubbed your toe – what if you instead KISSED it? What would happen? @InaMayGaskin Click To Tweet My dear friend, colleague, and inspirational wise-woman, Ina May Gaskin recently joined me in New … Continued
Enjoying and enhancing your sexuality is an important aspect of your overall health and well-being. I have been following and learning from Kim Anami – an amazing sex and relationship coach, and was thrilled to meet Kim in person this … Continued
I recently caught up with Arp Laszlo – a wonderful supportive partner and daddy who was featured in Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret. He has the famous line “For my next birth I would like a much bigger bathroom!” – … Continued
Do you ever wake and wonder what message your dream is telling you? When you are pregnant do you find that your dreams are even more vivid and offer insights to your changing body and world? Have you ever … Continued
By the CHANNEL MUM TEAM Revealing you experienced the Big O giving birth is almost always met with cries of ‘Oh No!’. From shock and revulsion to simple disbelief, so many people can’t comprehend that childbirth can be pain-free – … Continued
I was recently invited to speak at a women’s empowerment group in NYC to talk about the interconnected nature of birth, life and sexuality. I shared how powerful and supportive pleasure is at every stage of the birthing process- whether … Continued
Pure Nirvana Shared by Kristyn I was 41 weeks 4 days and had, had several bouts of practice labor that never went anywhere so I was growing discouraged. Baby had certainly kept me on my toes between having to be … Continued
Now that Orgasmic Birth is becoming more mainstream, with coverage in major online publications such as Cosmo and Huff Post, where do we go from here? We were not alone in loving Angela Gallo’s recent declaration of how touching herself … Continued
By Angela Gallo “Yes, you heard me right. And don’t be so shocked. Birth & Sex operate in almost the exact same ways. The hormones, sensations, the anatomy involved, brain activity, receptors…they are all so heavily intertwined. Our vulvas swell, blood … Continued
What do deafening (literally) orgasms and Orgasmic Birth (birthgasms) have in common? Find out from the latest episode of the fun, spicy and sexy podcast called “Sex Lives” by New York Magazine. Click image to listen now! What do deafening (literally) orgasms … Continued
Dr. Eve Agee joined Orgasmic Birth Debra Pascali-Bonaro to discuss “Vibrant Uterine Health for a Pleasurable Birth.” In the video clip below, Dr. Agee shares about the Power of the Uterus! Dr. Agee, PhD, is the international bestselling author of … Continued
Piper and Chaz were featured parents in the Orgasmic Birth movie and now join the movie director, Debra Pascali-Bonaro, for the Orgasmic Birth Virtual Conference to discuss “The Most Empowering Experience.” They are now parents of 5 free-learning children in … Continued
Submitted by: Dr. Amali Lokugamage Sir William Osler’s (1849-1919) Canadian physician and one of the four founding professors of John Hopkins Hospital had a famous quote which resonates with most clinical educators, their learners and, intuitively, patients alike: ‘for the … Continued
View this 16 minute interview hosted by Anna Wilde of the Birth Whisperer with Orgasmic Birth Director, Debra Pascali Bonaro. Anna writes “find out what orgasmic birth is (it may not be what you think), and how to increase your … Continued
I believe this year is a turning point in understanding the power, pleasure and ecstasy that is available in childbirth for both MotherBaby. Dr. Sarah Buckley has published her landmark report on the hormones of childbirth, the ways they are … Continued
Submitted by Eva, Sussex, England Orgasmic birth was a complete surprise to me. I had no idea women could orgasm during birth. I was 27 years old and pregnant with my third baby. I had planned on giving birth in … Continued
12 Pleasurable Birth Rights You have a right to pleasure in birth and LIFE! Enjoy this combination of rights created by Debra and the IMBCO. You have the right to a pleasurable birth. You have the right to create an … Continued
“The body is not able to handle pain and pleasure at once.” While in Belgium for the 2013 Midwifery Today Conference, O Birth Director Debra Pascali-Bonaro, and Robbie Davis-Floyd Ph.D. met with Marta, a woman who prepared and experienced orgasmic … Continued
Submitted by Birthkeeper, Linda Hamilton It was one of the most beautiful days here in the Caribbean coast of Costa Rica. A postcard perfect day – the morning of May 28, 2014. At 3:30am earlier that day, I had woken … Continued
New Year, New Vagina from Sex Coach Kim Anami I am so intrigued by Kim’s blog. Having enjoyed Sex and Relationship Coach: Kim Anami’s Unlock Your Pleasure O Birth Webinar, I thought it is time to start the New Year … Continued
Tribute to Orgasmic Birth Midwife, Liz Brunton By Renee Perkins It is fitting that this week when we celebrate National Midwifery Week and the O Birth Midwives, that I am reminded the legacy of Liz Brunton lives on. Recently, a … Continued
Birth Boot Camp Includes Orgasmic Birth in Curriculum Donna Ryan, Mother and Childbirth Educator/Founder/President of Birth Boot Camp, a 10-week course for couples wanting a natural birth, shares her perspective on the Orgasmic Birth Movie and how it is received … Continued
Childbirth Climax While in Malaysia this past week speaking about respectful care, I always love the opportunity to open up the topic of pleasure, ecstasy and Orgasmic Birth. It is too often a forgotten aspect of childbirth, or the one … Continued
Orgasmic Birth Inspiring the News If you do a keyword search for orgasm and birth right now you will find hoards of articles and blogs on the topic in response to the recent article about orgasmic birth. Here we have … Continued
Orgasmic Amazon Queen & Finding Pleasurable Birth in VBAC “I cradle her to my left side, to my heart, to where the first sound she hears is the steady and familiar beat of home. She is slippery like a dolphin … Continued
Pleasurable Birth in the Press In my workshops, I talk about one of my favorite subjects, how to have a Pleasurable Birth. We listen to the sounds of a woman in labor. This always brings smiles, giggles and moments of … Continued
Why should television networks broadcast “Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret” Is this achievable by all? We are off to a great 2012 as Orgasmic Birth continue to make waves around the world. I want to thank you all for sharing … Continued
Growing Number of Women are Choosing Orgasmic Birth ! Growing Number of Women Choose Orgasmic Birth BY KENNY GOLDBERG June 3, 2011 SAN DIEGO — The vast majority of mothers in the U.S. give birth in a hospital. They’re usually hooked up … Continued
Ecstatic, Blissful, Orgasmic Birth You Tube Video Contest Photo courtesy Judith Halek I spent a wonderful day this week in Woodstock, NY. It was a beautiful drive through the Catskills, with the remainder of the big winter storm still … Continued
Orgasmic Birth and the Midwife: Some Considerations Elizabeth Davis, midwife and co-author, Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying and Pleasurable Birth Experience (June 2010) Now that the physiology of birth is better understood, most of us would agree … Continued
Ina May Gaskin talks about Orgasmic Birth It was wonderful to see the recent articles about world-renowned midwife Ina May Gaskin discuss her life achievement and end her interview talking about her involvement with Orgasmic Birth. Ina May has … Continued
Orgasmic Birth is happy to present our big New Years surprise… A doula support organization specifically for those that are interested in learning more about supporting “Orgasmic Births”! Are you a doula or birthkeeper? Do you believe strongly that … Continued