Childbirth is a portal of self-knowledge and connection, and motherhood is a channel for the present. I was studying postmodern midwifery at the Da-a-Luz school, Andalucía, Spain, in a community very focused on women, nature and alternative ways of living. Most of the people there live in trailers, caravans and tents; they spend most of the day outside and live very closely with their neighbors. The school’s classes take place in a vagina-shaped building, and we study inside the womb. After having spent 5 years using IUDs, and 4 of them without menstruating, it was a huge reconnection with my feminine to know this school and these people: to live with women planting their menstrual blood, holding women’s circles, singing at the fire and bathing in the river. After the first year at school, I got pregnant by my partner Elijah, and we decided to give birth there.
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“I knew this birth would be different from Odyns, from all that came in between, and it was my second baby after all, but I don’t think I could’ve seen this. Since around December 12 I’d been having start and stop contractions and felt like labor would come at any time. Of course the next weeks were torture because nothing ever came of any of it…”
El nacimiento de Mariano, el día que pari mi cuerpo.
Desde el momento en que supe que estaba embarazada todo mi pensamiento se fue a investigar el proceso, los cambios que sucederían, el desarrollo de mi bebé y el parto, lo que mas me intrigaba era el tema de la epidural, le tenia una especie de terror a esa intervención… no había a quien preguntarle mas que a mi mamá que decía que no era para tanto, seguí investigando hasta que encontré la opción del parto en agua en Monterrey, Nuevo León, México, lo que me llevo a encontrar cursos de preparación para el parto (me sirvieron muchísimo) y fue donde encontré a mi partera, en ese momento mi vida cambio totalmente, estaba decidida a tener un parto en casa (y a convertirme en partera), no había otra opción posible en mi cabeza, así tendría que ser, a costa de lo que fuera.
Hi! I’m Alejandra Lozano, a Midwife in continuous learning and development. My history has been long and will continue, today I want to share a little bit of it…
The love for midwifery started when I got pregnant and I meet the midwives who would attend the birth of my son Mariano, who is 8 years old today. As soon as I met the first midwife I had ever seen in my entire life, I felt a deep admiration and inspiration inside me that led me to forget about my birth for a few moments and strongly desire to be a Midwife, I wanted it so much so much that I said it out loud without thinking, that was the beginning of everything…
I accompanied the first birth as a doula, I quickly realized that my place was not in hospitals. I love being a Doula and it’s a job that I deeply honor, yet my heart has always belonged to midwifery and home births. Then my Midwife became my teacher, and when my son was 2 years old she started teaching me.
I began moaning and doing my best to keep the sound flowing, as it seemed to help me stay afloat. With my knees on the floor and my arms gripping the pillows tightly in front of me, my body was in control. I attempted to quiet my mind and began rocking back and forth now, as opposed to side to side like I’d done while standing. I kept thinking about how I should try to perceive the sensations as interesting instead of painful. Some of the time, I found I was able to flow through part of a contraction as though I were simply witnessing an intense feeling, observing a wild ride that my body was on. Though, much of the time, I was experiencing it as the most intense pain I’ve ever felt, only comparable to the birth of my son.
by Asta I wanted what “they were having” I was determined. It was November of 2014 and I had just discovered the film that would completely change my world – “Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret”. The documentary left me in complete … Continued
I fell back to using my hypnobirthing practices, telling myself to breathe through each contraction rather than letting myself get upset and tense. I genuinely feel that this mindset is what allowed me to have such a peaceful and wonderful birthing experience.
I climbed onto all fours and leaned my top half over a beanbag for support. My body told me to sway my hips back and forth and I gave in, listening to every cue that I was being given.
I’m pretty sure that you were conceived just before Christmas and during one of the craziest storms I’ve ever experienced. I was supporting someone as their doula at the birth centre here in Ubud, and Daddy was in Java working. The energy from the birth combined with that of the storm made for a crazy night. I was taking a quick breather outside the birth room in the middle of the night, when one of the midwives walked past and said, “I didn’t know that you were pregnant”. “I’m not” I replied. Suastini looked at me funny. I later learned that she has an innate intuition for knowing when people are pregnant. Sometimes, it turns out, even before they do themselves.
You were also born during an epic storm on the night that the following rainy season started. It rained through the roof of our house and in through the ceiling of the room we were birthing in.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Interestingly, Daddy and I had only very recently had a conversation about having another baby. About how, after being told that it was unlikely that we would have children naturally and trying for three and a half years for Indi, we felt incredibly blessed and completely accepting of the fact that we may only have one child.
Clearly you had other ideas about that!
Indi and I went for a walk to the pharmacy and that night, after she was asleep and without thinking to tell Daddy about my suspicions, I did the pregnancy test. I was so shocked at the positive result that I couldn’t speak and just went downstairs and showed it to Papa. Understandably, he was a little confused about the situation, and it took a few minutes for what he was seeing to sink in.
We sat and held one another for quite a long time while we let the news soak in. What a truly wonderful Christmas gift. I did have one concern though: how on earth was I going to find the same amount of love for another baby, that I had for your sister? Was my capacity to love that great?
Apart from nausea and some extra tiredness until I was around 14 weeks pregnant, early pregnancy was fairly uneventful with you! The biggest challenge for me was breastfeeding your sister through the intensely sensitive nipples I had during those first weeks! My pregnancy was busy, healthy and active and the months whizzed by. Naturally, we planned a home birth for you.
Over long years teaching acupuncturists and students at a busy L&D unit in New York, and listening carefully to other birth professionals such as Debra, I have come to rely on needles less and less. Instead I focus mainly on understanding what is happening in birth from the perspective of Yin or Yang abundance or deficiency, and the free or obstructed flow of Qi. From that understanding, I teach a mixture of approaches for helping out before, during and after birth, using Chinese home care methods such as foot soaks, exercises and simple dietary modifications, as well as acupressure and Chinese bodywork (Tuina). Few acupuncturists are allowed to needle in hospitals, but most of them have friends, family and beloved patients who can benefit from their insight and touch throughout the birth journey. I therefore proposed to the publisher that the book should be a resource of primarily non-needling approaches for acupuncturists, and they agreed.
In my documentary, Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret, Dr. Sarah Buckley says: “Personally I think the most effective form of pain relief for a laboring woman is to have people around her to support her and with whom she feels comfortable and relaxed.If she’s in a state where the hormones are working superbly as they do in an undisturbed birth, the need for pain relief will be very low.”
This is an essential concept in all of my work – the need for privacy, safety, support and encouragement.
If you want to learn how to achieve a pleasurable birth, I have the roadmap for you.
For many years I had wanted to tell my story to someone who would totally understand and “get it” and that person was Debra Pascali-Bonaro. After sharing my birth stories with Debra in Bali, I have never felt so validated and heard before, it was such a beautiful moment to share together and will remain very special to me forever. Debra affirmed my experience, with celebration, gentleness and so much love and understanding, and it was such a pleasure to feel that I could be true to the truth of what happened in those moments of my life.
Unrecognized by medicine for years, myself and other birth workers were noting that childbirth was a fully integrated mind-body-soul experience, full of hormone release, emotions, and with deeply sacred and physical components. It was apparent that birth was designed to create ease in breastfeeding, bonding and the important attachment of MotherBaby love. Dr. Sarah Buckley’s Hormonal Physiology report was the science to back up all we knew and believed deep down – that a challenging or traumatic birth was creating more difficulties to overcome, often making it harder to breastfeed, increasing risks of depression and adjustment to parenthood.
The Beautiful Work Challenge: On Birth
What are the essentials of birth? Who broke maternity care? Is transformation possible? Empowerment, disempowerment, the health of babies & society all begin at birth. Have you thought about these questions? I am honored to be a part along with many of my mentors, colleagues and friends in this powerful discussion in The Beautiful Work Challenge: On Birth–a new podcast.
Red Miller joined me for a pleasure filled, orgasmic webinar. It’s filled with so many amazing tips for finding your own pleasure in birth and life.
-Preparing for a Pleasurable Birth
-How to Claim your Power Instead of Giving it Away
-Orgasmic Birth is more than Orgasm
-Self-Love Practices Every Pregnant Mamma Needs
-The most loving way to address an intervention
-What do your throat and your vagina have in common?
By Debra Pascali-Bonaro Imagine the day you will give birth, bringing a new life into the world. You have waited 9+ months – feeling new life moving within, anticipating labor, birth and what life will be like as a parent. … Continued
Byron Bay hinterlands – a dream homebirth story 18.9.2013 – The day before my estimated due date. After seeing my friend Priscylla and asking her little darling daughter Lyluna to tell the baby boy in my belly to finally come … Continued
by Sam Sundara My birth experience taught me about being open emotionally and how holding onto fear actually creates pain. I remember a moment through transitioning where I actually completely opened to those overwhelming sensations & feelings, and it was … Continued
By @bornathome5 This is the story of my fifth homebirth. With four successful homebirths under my belt and a strong belief in the birth process and my body’s ability, my partner and I decided to try for an unassisted birth. … Continued
Eita Segawa was the inspirational organizer of the first Orgasmic Birth Screening in Japan. I was moved to meet him as the universe’s divine timing had me in Japan with Kiyoe to teach doula workshops at the exact time Orgasmic … Continued
As a childbirth educator and doula / Dona doula trainer, I see fear in childbirth growing, both in providers and consumers. While we are making improvement in many areas of life – in the U.S and some other countries childbirth … Continued
V-day is a great day to explore and create “Orgasmic – Pleasure”. Whether you are expecting to have a baby on Valentine’s, are pregnant, are a parent, or see parenthood in your future or not, you can create an Orgasmic … Continued
by Natalie Telyatnikov When I was just 1 day shy of 41 weeks gestation, my midwife called me, concerned. “There are a few things that make homebirths less safe,” she said, “and this is one of them.” In this instance, my midwife … Continued
Throughout her-story there were rituals to prepare people for the rite of passage of birth and parenthood. These were often ceremonies that built self esteem, connection to family and community, healed and cleared obstacles in our relationship with parents, our … Continued
Savitha Kopperla Breech Birth Of One Brave Mamma, and her Breech Birth Story at 43 weeks complete! Rewind: Feb 2015: I helped her birth her footling breech baby girl naturally. In that pregnancy, she got so fed up with the … Continued
I take drugs, but only when I’m giving birth How is it that we have become more comfortable with technology, drugs and artificial hormones in childbirth, while at the same time we are seeing a movement back towards natural food … Continued
Note from Debra: My dear friend, Jaqueline Eddaoudi has been on an amazing journey giving birth to five children at home with her 6th is on the way. Jaqueline and I met when she was my translator for a big … Continued
“When you add Pleasure to Pain – Pain can become Pleasurable!” -Carina to Arizona in Grey’s Anatomy when discussing using masturbation to get a laboring mother’s natural oxytocin to flow, moving labor along in the most pleasurable way possible! Grey’s … Continued
For mothers who are thrilled with their birthing experience, For mothers that are not, For mothers to be that have no clue what to expect. By Tanja Nenadovic Vasquez This is the story about my pregnancy and natural, vaginal, … Continued
Lots of midwives and doulas have discovered in the last years how to use the Rebozo for their pregnant and birthing clients. This way of relaxing and moving during Pregnancy and birth comes from traditional midwives from Mexico (like Naoli … Continued
Birth story Sifra Door Caroline Devulder op 28-04-2017 Sweet Sifra, Your birth story begins on Saturday the 22nd of April 2017. At 00h40 I received a call from your mom telling me that her water broke. I was only asleep … Continued
New research is strong that doulas reduce the chance of cesarean birth (or vacuum/forcep assisted birth, shorten length of labor, reduced use of pain medication, and a more positive birth experience. The newest review from the Cochrane Collective states that … Continued
Take 3 minutes to sit comfortably and consider which door you will choose when planning to birth with pleasure. Feel your connection to the earth, the floor, your breathe. Now, take 3 deep breaths and begin to feel your body … Continued
As a doula and film-maker, I’ve had the honor of attending all types of births, in all different locations – hospital, homebirth, and birth center births. Each birth is unique, each mother/father/partner/family, each care provider, each location. While homebirth is … Continued
Why having a doula at your birth will help you to create a safe, satisfying and pleasurable birth experience! 1. Your (hospital, Doctor, Midwife) is AWESOME Many women believe they don’t need to hire a doula because their hospital is … Continued
We each bring our trust, confidence, courage and/or fears to birth. Our emotions are contagious and thus each person in a birth circle affects the others and the ability to slow or ease labor. As a doula, we begin the … Continued
I always planned a homebirth. My mother had planned for me to be born at home and it always just seemed like normal. But unfortunately due to a haemorrhage after my first was born I felt safer in hospital for … Continued
Science to the rescue for a Safe, Sexy, Scientific and (yes) Orgasmic Birth By Debra Pascali-Bonaro First, it’s important to talk about what makes birth UNSAFE. In our current model of maternity care there are many practices that increase … Continued
Turning a page for Maternity Care I am pleasantly surprised that we may be FINALLY turning a page in the her-story of medicalized maternity care. While most fields of medicine base their practices on the latest and best science, maternity care … Continued
What’s It Actually Like to Have an Orgasmic Birth? By Nina Bahadur “Orgasmic birth—a phenomenon of labor and delivery being pleasurable, also called ecstatic birth—is a controversial topic. One study estimates about 0.3 percent of women experience one. Some … Continued
by Sheila Kamara Hay The seeds of my business, Ecstatic Birth, were conceived years ago with my first pregnancy. I desired a birth that would leave me breathless and marveling at my body’s strength, wisdom, and capacity to bring forth … Continued
“The widespread use of synOT in managed labor warrants caution, as the influence of synOT on a new mother’s well-being is evident at 2 months postpartum.” Intrapartum Synthetic Oxytocin and Its Effects on Maternal Well-Being at 2 Months Postpartum. As … Continued
Kim Anami, sex and relationship coach shares how to lift weights with your vagina in this fun video. And then in this video Kim shows her STRONG vaginal muscles at work…and some amusing reactions! Love this and want more amazing … Continued
So many women are concerned about their postpartum recoveries… Will my vagina go back to the way it was? Will sex no longer be enjoyable? Will I have urinary incontinence? Kim Anami, is a globe-trotting coach, national media commentator … Continued
I recently had the opportunity to be featured on Cosmopolitan Magazine’s Happy Hour Podcast. It was really fun sharing my message of love, power, pleasure and ORGASMIC BIRTH with the host. The podcast just went live, and it was a … Continued
“Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out. –Karl Augustus Menninger” YES. I really believe this – I believe that fear is mostly created by the unknown. I believe that by educating and empowering yourself, … Continued
Instead of crying, yelling or cursing when you stubbed your toe – what if you instead KISSED it? What would happen? @InaMayGaskin Click To Tweet My dear friend, colleague, and inspirational wise-woman, Ina May Gaskin recently joined me in New … Continued
Enjoying and enhancing your sexuality is an important aspect of your overall health and well-being. I have been following and learning from Kim Anami – an amazing sex and relationship coach, and was thrilled to meet Kim in person this … Continued
I recently caught up with Arp Laszlo – a wonderful supportive partner and daddy who was featured in Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret. He has the famous line “For my next birth I would like a much bigger bathroom!” – … Continued
Do you ever wake and wonder what message your dream is telling you? When you are pregnant do you find that your dreams are even more vivid and offer insights to your changing body and world? Have you ever … Continued
By the CHANNEL MUM TEAM Revealing you experienced the Big O giving birth is almost always met with cries of ‘Oh No!’. From shock and revulsion to simple disbelief, so many people can’t comprehend that childbirth can be pain-free – … Continued
I was recently invited to speak at a women’s empowerment group in NYC to talk about the interconnected nature of birth, life and sexuality. I shared how powerful and supportive pleasure is at every stage of the birthing process- whether … Continued
Shared by Kristyn I was 41 weeks 4 days and had, had several bouts of practice labor that never went anywhere so I was growing discouraged. Baby had certainly kept me on my toes between having to be manually turned … Continued
Now that Orgasmic Birth is becoming more mainstream, with coverage in major online publications such as Cosmo and Huff Post, where do we go from here? We were not alone in loving Angela Gallo’s recent declaration of how touching herself … Continued
By Angela Gallo “Yes, you heard me right. And don’t be so shocked. Birth & Sex operate in almost the exact same ways. The hormones, sensations, the anatomy involved, brain activity, receptors…they are all so heavily intertwined. Our vulvas swell, blood … Continued
What do deafening (literally) orgasms and Orgasmic Birth (birthgasms) have in common? Find out from the latest episode of the fun, spicy and sexy podcast called “Sex Lives” by New York Magazine. Click image to listen now! What do deafening (literally) orgasms … Continued
Dr. Eve Agee joined Orgasmic Birth Debra Pascali-Bonaro to discuss “Vibrant Uterine Health for a Pleasurable Birth.” In the video clip below, Dr. Agee shares about the Power of the Uterus! Dr. Agee, PhD, is the international bestselling author of … Continued
Piper and Chaz were featured parents in the Orgasmic Birth movie and now join the movie director, Debra Pascali-Bonaro, for the Orgasmic Birth Virtual Conference to discuss “The Most Empowering Experience.” They are now parents of 5 free-learning children in … Continued
Submitted by: Dr. Amali Lokugamage Sir William Osler’s (1849-1919) Canadian physician and one of the four founding professors of John Hopkins Hospital had a famous quote which resonates with most clinical educators, their learners and, intuitively, patients alike: ‘for the … Continued
View this 16 minute interview hosted by Anna Wilde of the Birth Whisperer with Orgasmic Birth Director, Debra Pascali Bonaro. Anna writes “find out what orgasmic birth is (it may not be what you think), and how to increase your … Continued
I believe this year is a turning point in understanding the power, pleasure and ecstasy that is available in childbirth for both MotherBaby. Dr. Sarah Buckley has published her landmark report on the hormones of childbirth, the ways they are … Continued
Submitted by Eva, Sussex, England Orgasmic birth was a complete surprise to me. I had no idea women could orgasm during birth. I was 27 years old and pregnant with my third baby. I had planned on giving birth in … Continued
12 Pleasurable Birth Rights You have a right to pleasure in birth and LIFE! Enjoy this combination of rights created by Debra and the IMBCO. You have the right to a pleasurable birth. You have the right to create an … Continued
“The body is not able to handle pain and pleasure at once.” While in Belgium for the 2013 Midwifery Today Conference, O Birth Director Debra Pascali-Bonaro, and Robbie Davis-Floyd Ph.D. met with Marta, a woman who prepared and experienced orgasmic … Continued
Submitted by Birthkeeper, Linda Hamilton It was one of the most beautiful days here in the Caribbean coast of Costa Rica. A postcard perfect day – the morning of May 28, 2014. At 3:30am earlier that day, I had woken … Continued
New Year, New Vagina from Sex Coach Kim Anami I am so intrigued by Kim’s blog. Having enjoyed Sex and Relationship Coach: Kim Anami’s Unlock Your Pleasure O Birth Webinar, I thought it is time to start the New Year … Continued
Tribute to Orgasmic Birth Midwife, Liz Brunton By Renee Perkins It is fitting that this week when we celebrate National Midwifery Week and the O Birth Midwives, that I am reminded the legacy of Liz Brunton lives on. Recently, a … Continued
Birth Boot Camp Includes Orgasmic Birth in Curriculum Donna Ryan, Mother and Childbirth Educator/Founder/President of Birth Boot Camp, a 10-week course for couples wanting a natural birth, shares her perspective on the Orgasmic Birth Movie and how it is received … Continued
Childbirth Climax While in Malaysia this past week speaking about respectful care, I always love the opportunity to open up the topic of pleasure, ecstasy and Orgasmic Birth. It is too often a forgotten aspect of childbirth, or the one … Continued
Orgasmic Birth Inspiring the News If you do a keyword search for orgasm and birth right now you will find hoards of articles and blogs on the topic in response to the recent article about orgasmic birth. Here we have … Continued
Orgasmic Amazon Queen & Finding Pleasurable Birth in VBAC “I cradle her to my left side, to my heart, to where the first sound she hears is the steady and familiar beat of home. She is slippery like a dolphin … Continued
Pleasurable Birth in the Press In my workshops, I talk about one of my favorite subjects, how to have a Pleasurable Birth. We listen to the sounds of a woman in labor. This always brings smiles, giggles and moments of … Continued
Why should television networks broadcast “Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret” Is this achievable by all? We are off to a great 2012 as Orgasmic Birth continue to make waves around the world. I want to thank you all for sharing … Continued
Growing Number of Women are Choosing Orgasmic Birth ! Growing Number of Women Choose Orgasmic Birth BY KENNY GOLDBERG June 3, 2011 SAN DIEGO — The vast majority of mothers in the U.S. give birth in a hospital. They’re usually hooked up … Continued
Ecstatic, Blissful, Orgasmic Birth You Tube Video Contest Photo courtesy Judith Halek I spent a wonderful day this week in Woodstock, NY. It was a beautiful drive through the Catskills, with the remainder of the big winter storm still … Continued
Orgasmic Birth and the Midwife: Some Considerations Elizabeth Davis, midwife and co-author, Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying and Pleasurable Birth Experience (June 2010) Now that the physiology of birth is better understood, most of us would agree … Continued
Ina May Gaskin talks about Orgasmic Birth It was wonderful to see the recent articles about world-renowned midwife Ina May Gaskin discuss her life achievement and end her interview talking about her involvement with Orgasmic Birth. Ina May has … Continued
Orgasmic Birth is happy to present our big New Years surprise… A doula support organization specifically for those that are interested in learning more about supporting “Orgasmic Births”! Are you a doula or birthkeeper? Do you believe strongly that … Continued