Submitted by Sheila Kamara Hay
I recently had the privilege of showing clips from Orgasmic Birth to an audience of really fabulous and progressive women. They ranged in age from 18 to 80s and for many of them, it was the first time they had seen a live birth. What a pleasure to be able to show them images of birth that were beautiful, empowering, and inspiring. The experience swirled up a lot of emotion in the room from ecstasy to grief and everything in between.
First let’s talk about the grief… Overwhelmingly, the women who had already birthed their babies and whose experience was a complete and utter contrast to what they were seeing in the Orgasmic Birth documentary were racked by grief. For many, seeing images of pleasurable birth awakened a possibility that they had not even known existed. Why hadn’t they known? Why hadn’t this version of birth been an option for them and their children?
Their grief awakened a loss that they had not even been aware that they had. At first look, this was really painful- to cause women grief in an area where moments before they had been blissfully unaware. My hope is that their grief will empower their children and future generations, that they will make sure those they love know what they didn’t, gifting them with choices that they did not have.
As we awaken the world with a new paradigm of birth, we need to honor the grief and hold it tenderly in our hearts. The births that we have had were perfect in every way for who we were at that time. The births we had were perfect for our babies. And now awakened and inspired, we want more. That is perfect too. Let the grief fuel our desire for change.
Another level of reactions was inspired yet perplexed. Why aren’t we all birthing like this? Good question with so many answers. We can talk about the politics of birth and our health care system. We can talk about the societal disempowerment of women in relation to their bodies and sexuality. We can talk about the need to awaken to a wisdom more deep and vast than our mental intelligence.
There is so much to discuss and do, but thankfully we are on that path. Let’s keep talking, demanding, experimenting, and feeeeeeeeling our way through. We will get there.
Most exciting was the thrill pulsing through the room of women empowered, inspired and ready to birth with pleasure. I was approached by one after the event. She was lit up and shaking. “Sheila,” she said to me, “I have always wanted to have children but been afraid of birth. But tonight, listening to you speak, and seeing these images of birth. I was like, ‘yes, Yes, YES! Bring it on!’ My whole body really connected with this and now I am excited to have children and give birth.”
Yes! Yes! YES! Bring it on!!!