"Why, after all my own births and supporting many others, had no one ever talked to me about the power of self-pleasure to reduce discomfort and enhance the natural flow of oxytocin — our incredible love hormone?"
Debra Pascali-Bonaro
It’s been a long and transformative journey — one that began with a single conversation, a spark of curiosity, and a profound shift in my understanding of birth, pleasure, and power.
I still vividly remember the first birth where a client mentioned she’d be using a vibrator during labor — not as a taboo secret, but as a conscious choice to ride the waves of pleasure instead of pain. I smiled, intrigued, but also stunned.
Why had I never thought of this?
Why, after all my own births and supporting many others, had no one ever talked to me about the power of self-pleasure to reduce discomfort and enhance the natural flow of oxytocin — our incredible love hormone?
It made perfect sense. And yet, even as an experienced doula sitting beside a seasoned midwife, we were both surprised by this radical and beautiful idea: pleasure belongs in birth.
I still smile thinking back to that prenatal visit when this same client opened a drawer overflowing with vibrators — gifts from friends at her baby shower. Instead of the usual onesies and diapers, they also gifted her tools of pleasure, honoring her choice to have an Orgasmic Birth. It was bold.It was beautiful.
And a few weeks later, I witnessed her birth unfold in awe — her sounds, her movements, her power fueled by pleasure, not just pain.
That moment planted a seed in me, a calling to explore, to ask, to challenge everything we’ve been taught to believe about childbirth. Why had the clitoris — this miraculous bundle of 8,000 to 10,000 nerve endings whose sole purpose is pleasure — been erased from the story of birth?
How had we silenced the role of our own anatomy in favor of sterile, mechanical narratives of suffering and pain?
It’s been almost 15 years since that first eye-opening moment. My path has taken me around the world — teaching, learning, and speaking about doulas, the International Childbirth Initiative, Orgasmic Birth, and the vital need for safe, respectful, and pleasurable birth for all. Along the way, I’ve met wise midwives, visionary physicians, compassionate nurses, courageous doulas, and birth keepers who are all working to transform perinatal care.
Wherever I traveled, I carved out time for pleasure research.
Whether exploring the history, beauty, and flavors of each region or visiting local pleasure shops to discover vibrators from around the world, I treated it as part of my sacred work.
Often, I invited doulas hosting me to join in these adventures — and we’d giggle at the surprised reactions when I asked sex shop owners: “Which vibrator would you recommend for labor — to reduce pain and increase pleasure?”
Even in spaces devoted to sexuality, the connection between pleasure and birth was a conversation-stopper. Blushes. Awkward silences. And yet — this is what we must talk about.
Sexuality educators, birth workers, and medical providers alike have long ignored or actively shamed the sexuality of childbirth.
Taboos around sex and birth — and especially sex in birth — have left us disconnected from our own bodies and blind to what is right in front of us:
The clitoral complex, wrapping around the vaginal opening and labia, is designed to respond to pleasure — increasing oxytocin, softening tissues, lubricating the birth canal, and preparing the body for both pleasure and birth.
The very anatomy that brings life into the world is also the anatomy that brings pleasure — yet this simple, powerful truth has been hidden, ignored, or shamed out of childbirth education, obstetric textbooks, and provider training.
The potential for pleasure in birth isn’t a fringe fantasy — it’s science, it’s physiology, and it’s our birthright.
As I continued my research, I heard more and more stories — people who made love to start labor, who self-pleasured during contractions, who used vibrators to ease pain and enhance connection. But most had never told anyone. Shame and feelings outside of the ordinary kept them from sharing their stories until now.
The time had come to break the silence. To find a pleasure tool that could be trusted — designed for pregnancy, labor, birth, and beyond. A tool that would put pleasure and power back into the hands of birthing people everywhere.
I searched for years, exploring vibrators from countless companies. But when I discovered DAME, I knew. Their commitment to body-safe materials, ethical design, and women-centered innovation made them the perfect partner for Orgasmic Birth.
It took time — years of conversations, patient trust-building, and vision-sharing — but it was worth every moment. When you know something is right, you wait. You nurture. And now, I’m thrilled to say the wait is over.
INTRODUCING...
A vibrator designed to support relaxation, reduce pain, and enhance pleasure during labor — waterproof, with 5 speeds, a gentle ergonomic grip, and the ability to stimulate all your erogenous zones with ease.
Whether for pregnancy, birth, or postpartum pleasure, it puts relaxation and pleasure at your fingertips.
But this is bigger than a product. It’s a movement.
We’re calling on everyone to:
- Break the silence around sexuality and birth.
- Demand the inclusion of the clitoris in childbirth education and provider training.
- Advocate for open, shame-free conversations with care providers about body autonomy and pleasure in birth.
- Honor the full spectrum of experiences — from pain to pleasure — and the wisdom of each person’s body.
If you’re reading this far, I hope you’re smiling, maybe even dancing with us. The Fin PleasureVibe is an invitation — to discover your pleasure, rewrite your birth story, and reclaim your birthright to joy, ecstasy, and connection.
Are you a YES?
Tell me — what does YES mean for you? What does reclaiming pleasure in birth look like in your life or your work?
Are you a NO?
That’s okay too. I want to hear your why. What questions or fears come up for you?
This isn’t about convincing everyone. It’s about ensuring everyone has the option — to choose comfort, connection, and pleasure in pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond in their own way.
No more silence. No more shame. Just possibilities. Will you join us?
After you order, be sure to visit here to register your purchase to receive exclusive access to expert guidance, groundbreaking research, inspiring stories and a 4-part masterclass covering use of your Fin PleasureVibe in birth and beyond.
