V-day is a great day to explore and create “Orgasmic – Pleasure”. Whether you are expecting to have a baby on Valentine’s, are pregnant, are a parent, or see parenthood in your future or not, you can create an Orgasmic Valentine’s Day!
When was the last time you thought of all the ways that you can bring pleasure to your life? We all deserve love and pleasure everyday and often that is taking matters into our own hands! Grab paper and pen. After reading my 5 feel good ways, add 5 of your own to create your top 10 ways to have an Orgasmic Valentines Day.
As our lives seem to get busier and busier with technology, it’s important to have an attitude of gratitude and explore all the ways we can enjoy pleasure, ecstasy and orgasmic joy. For those of you that may be pregnant, planning on a pregnancy, expecting a baby on Valentine’s Day it’s time to consider that we birth the way we live. The more pleasure we find in life, the more we can prepare to bring pleasure to our birth and parenting.
Elizabeth Davis and I define “Orgasmic Birth” in our Orgasmic Birth: Guide to a Safe, Satisfying and Pleasurable Birth Experience as “broad enough to include those who describe birth as ecstatic and specific enough to give voice to those who actually feel the contractions of orgasm and climax at the moment of delivery. Many of our interviewees spoke of astounding pressure and sensation in the vagina as birth approached, followed by a flood of release and emotion as the baby emerged. Whenever a woman can look back on these moments with joy, when the physical and emotional aspects of birth are fully experienced as pleasurable, we call this orgasmic birth.”
Ask yourself, how can I create a deeper connection with my partner with heightened physical, emotional, ecstasy and release so when the time is right you will birth with pleasure. Whether birthing a baby or a new creative project or new aspect of your self, we all give birth to many things in our lives and can use our sexual, creative energy to open us in new ways.
#1) Listen before you leap: Get cozy on the couch and practice listening to one another and hear and respect each other’s needs. Joe Valley of Empowered Papa writes: “Protecting moms in a gentle way means that we honor safety, choice, movement, privacy, ease, understanding, and being understood. We do this by showing curiosity in what mom says. We might say, “Are you wanting a safe environment where you are free to move as you like?” See how different that is to, “You can’t birth at home or in a birth center”?”
#2) Turned on with Tunes: Share and listen to your favorite music and songs with your partner. Create an orgasmic playlist for a sensuous and sexual evening. Bring this music with you as you birth, as our sexual energy not only brings us pleasure but open the gateway to our fullest creative forces within.
Preparing music in advance to compliment a laboring woman’s mood will make a big difference. Relaxing music for resting, pumped-up music for the pushing phase, or just some of your favorite songs. Listening to music you like releases your beta-endorphins, the hormone of pleasure. I worked with one client who played the same Michael Bublé song over and over and loved every minute- 5 hours of listening pleasure! Others create sensuous set list, one client moved and rocked her hips in such a sensual ways, dancing her baby into the world and moving from pain to pleasure.
#3.) Wrap each other in love: Using a Rebozo or a long scarf or sheet folded in half, Rebozos provides a warm, safe, embrace, in birth I call this the doula hug. One simple technique I love is to wrap your partner around their shoulders, sitting in front of them you can gentle rock them, sift their shoulders releasing tension, feeling safe and supported, letting our minds relax. Rebozo techniques can provide tremendous amounts of relief, relaxation and support- all orgasmic qualities!
#4.) Melt in your mouth: In addition to being an aphrodisiac, chocolate can provide much needed energy to a woman in labor. On V-day consider taste testing some chocolates. During labor, some of my client’s faves are chili chocolate as chili stimulates labor while enjoying the pleasure of chocolate. I love Belgian dark chocolate and Trader Joes, dark chocolate covered cranberries, I consider them my daily orgasmic treat. What is your favorite chocolate?
#5) Invite the hormones over: Invite the hormone of love, oxytocin to your place on V-day. Get to know this amazing hormone that provides us with a feeling of well being- trust, love and connection. It is a powerful pain reliever. Understanding how to release oxytocin is essential during life and birth. It is the lack of releasing our own oxytocin in labor that causes many women to have challenging childbirths and increased pain. Learning to create your own oxytocin and create a natural flow of HORMONES, transforms birth from pain to pleasure, orgasmic bliss and power. Different activities and environments can help a woman’s hormone flow more freely. On V-day try these activities by yourself and/or with your partner so you understand the way you can increase oxytocin, the hormone of love. First set the stage with privacy and safely. Next enjoy kissing, touching, gentle stimulation with fingers or sucking stimulation with the lips and tongue. When you feel turned on, you release oxytocin and bringing more love and ease to your life and to whatever your creative energy is birthing.